Revelations

So I was tripping on LSD today when I had a series of amazing revelations. I will now recount them in no particular order.

I. The USA is fucking doomed.

Yeah, let me be the one to break the bad news: the terrorists WILL win. You know why? Because they DESERVE it. If they are willing to strap explosives to the bellies of their children and use them to blow up hard-charging, US soldiers then GAME fucking OVER.

Call it a day, bring home the troops and cut the fucking defense budget by about 1.3 TRILLION fucking dollars.

Do any of you have any fucking CLUE how much money that actually is?

The big green portion of that pie is how much the United States is spending on weaponry to keep us safe. Now, if the US is spending THAT much money to keep us safe from the bad guys who are LIVING IN FUCKING CAVES then guess what? We fucking LOST.

So how about we just acknowledge the fucking loss and start spending that money on some shit that makes some fucking sense? I have a few ideas:

1. Free health care. FOR EVERYONE.

2. Free public transportation. FOR EVERYONE.

3. Free school lunches. FOR EVERYONE.

4. Free college educations OR vocational training. For EVERYONE.

And how do I propose to pay for it? Go back to the beginning of the article, stupid. I intend to cut the fucking defense budget after acknowledging that the most powerful civilization in the HISTORY OF PLANET EARTH is being destroyed by men living in CAVES.

While our brave men and women in uniform sit in air conditioned comfort pushing buttons that kill women and children 100 miles away the cowardly terrorists are willing to sacrifice their children to
steal our precious freedoms.

Pictured: Freedom

The sooner we acknowledge the loss, the sooner we can get around to spending money on some shit that is actually productive. Like birth control for men that isn't a rubber sack that fills with semen.

II. Meat eating should be the SOLE PROVINCE of people (notice the lack of gender specification) who are:

A. Capable of killing

B. WILLING to kill.

Yeah, that's right I said it. If you don't have the courage in your heart to look an animal in the eye and take its life to consume its flesh, then you do not have the RIGHT to eat that flesh.

If you are too weak or infirm to kill, then you do not get meat. You can get your protein from beans and be fucking happy.

And if you don't have the courage to slit Lambchop's throat then guess what? No rack of lamb for you. And that's the fucking END of the discussion.

Whether you look at this from a religious or secular standpoint, the facts are the same: animals can suffer, they can demonstrate affection, form life-partnerships, and can develop complex societies that rally together against external forces while cooperating to keep their whole in place. Which is why cannibalism exists everywhere that domesticatable animals don't.

So buying your beef from the Costco is UNACCEPTABLE.

You want beef? You walk right up to that Holstein, pat it on the head, look it right in it's big, stupid brown eye and CUT ITS THROAT.

If you don't have the guts to do that, then you don't get to consume it's flesh. You don't get to delegate the killing to someone else so your hands are clean.


III. Women and Men are equal. PERIOD.

Again, I am a veteran of the US armed forces, so I am not talking out of my ass here. I have served with women who were better runners than me, better marksman than me, heavier drinkers than me, and some of these women might have had bigger dicks than me...so enough with this bullshit about tampon breaks on the battlefield.

Ask the Red Army about tampons on the battlefield since it didn't seem to stop the Night Witches from bombing the living shit out of Germany.

Or, you could ask Boudiccea of England, the Tru'ng sisters of Viet Nam, or Joan of Arc all of whom led armies despite the handicap of having a vagina.

4. Sexuality is irrelevant to everything except choice of bed partners.
   
   News flash: homosexuality is not a recent invention. It has existed since the dawn of humanity in every society on this planet. I know, shocking, but don't take my word for it. Go look it up, I'll wait.
   
   See, the Spartans were sucking dicks for PLEASURE while they were fucking women as a CHORE. Again, don't take my word for it just look it up. Here this time I'll even provide you a link. Notice how that article said PEDERATSTY was an integral part of life in good old Sparta.
   
   Goes a long way towards explaining the "good job" rituals in sports, doesn't it? I refer of course, to guys slapping each other on the ass, bumping chests, and whatever the fuck they do in the locker room.

5. Having a pet is the same as having a child.

   When I was 17 I had to drown a 3 week old puppy because my neighbor couldn't do it. He was 14 and his dog jumped the fence and got knocked up and the puppy they kept got intestinal parasites and they couldn't afford a vet. And since he couldn't bring himself to kill the puppy he had me do it for him. That was my first experience taking another living being's life and while it isn't as dramatic as the story of Old Yeller, it is still something that I think about when I consider matters of life and death.
   
   

   If you want your kid to have a pet, then you need to sit them down and explain what the fuck they are getting into: that animal is now dependent on them for it's survival. Just like that child is dependent on the parent, except that the animal doesn't have cognitive reasoning capabilities is therefore incapable of making moral choices like eating beans for protein or the flesh of another animal.

See, it's the cognitive reasoning that's the kicker there. We as humans CHOOSE to eat animals. Dogs don't CHOOSE to eat Iams or whatever Safeway happens to have on sale.

I have 2 cats in my home and my lover and I had to have a long talk about this before I agreed to let the first one in. Cats are PREDATORS, ladies and gentlemen. I love my cats like they were my own family (Yes, I do hold a feline life to be of equal or GREATER value than a human life what of it?) but I harbor no illusions: Verbs and Zellie are killers. Clean, methodical, and GOOD AT IT just the way God designed them to be. And by keeping them indoors and feeding them corn-based crap we are harming them and there's no two ways about it.

Unfortunately I cannot allow my cats to roam as nature intended because our water is so fucking fouled by pollutants that my cats will get sick if I did so. Therefore I must confine them to the prison of my back porch, convicted of a crime they never committed and never a day of parole available to them.


VI. LSD was made illegal for a REASON.

Because Western Civilization would grind to a screeching fucking HALT otherwise.

You know why America lost in Viet Nam? Because the Vietnamese were RIGHT. It was THEIR fucking country and the French should have cut their fucking losses and gone home instead of running to the US for help. And the US should have said "Fuck that shit, we fought for our independence you know those little Yellow fuckers will too. Ever heard of the Tru'ng sisters?"

Instead we got 30 fucking years of lies that ended up costing billions of dollars and millions of lives.

And the lies, unfortunately, didn't stop after our disgraced withdrawal from that little patch of Southeast Asia. To this day you will find people who will tell you how America could have won, should have won, WOULD have won except for the pinko Commie faggots.

Except that is a fucking lie known to everyone who has ever spent 30 minutes researching the Viet Nam war.

And now we get the sequel, except instead of a jungle you get a desert. Seriously, go spend 30 minutes doing some research. Pick any speech made specifically about Iraq/Afghanistan AT RANDOM and do the same thing with Viet Nam. Then, compare those speeches and see how many times you find yourself referring to your notes to make sure which conflict you are reading about.

And let's go back to what I said earlier about doing your own killing.

Do you think that Madeleine Albright would be willing to slit the throat of an Iraqi child? How about 1,000? Here she is talking about 500,000 of them.

I was going to post a few pictures of dead Iraqi children to drive the point home but I still have a shred of decency that I am trying to stamp out, so bear with me.

So, let's just be honest with each other here.

If I say I am willing to murder an Iraqi child, than I am an evil human being.

Yet Madeleine Albright, the US Ambassador to the UN has no qualms about letting me do it so she doesn't have to.

So who is the real villain?

Some of what I said here may shock you. Some of it may offend you. Some of it may not apply to you.

Rest assured, I meant every word. ESPECIALLY the parts about killing.

If you've never tried LSD, you should run right out and get some. Find a chemist and help them make it. Call me and I will help you find it..

That shit should be given away by the fucking truckload to anyone who wants it.. Why not, we make poison available on a daily fucking basis to anyone able to turn on a public faucet.